LowComDom Performances Presents
Top 14 tips for surviving college
14> Minimize your food budget- plan classes around "Happy Hours."
13> Enjoy being a Sophomore -- It will be the best three years of your life.
12> Wear an athletic cup to panty raids, because it's all fun and games until someone loses their 'nads.
11> Lemon juice and baking soda make an excellent bong water stain remover.
10> Earn extra cash by parlaying chemistry knowledge into lucrative "home pharmaceuticals" business.
9> If an 8:00 am class is required for your major, change your major.
8> Boring lecture? Start a wave!
7> College-level algebra: 5 returnable bottles = 1 delicious Ramen Noodle dinner.
6> "I Phelta Thi" is *not* a real fraternity, except at state colleges.
5> Remember - almost no one complains when you puke in a dumpster.
4> Clever margin manipulation can turn a 4-page outline into a 100-page senior essay.
3> Football games were never meant to be observed by sober people.
2> Don't think of it as sleeping with your professor -- think of it as "acing Biology."
and the Number 1 Tip for Surviving College...
1> In a pinch, milk can be used as a beer substitute in your breakfast cereal.