LowComDom Performances Presents
The Top 15 Other Ways to Tell When Spring is Coming
15> Joey Buttafuoco's plummage becomes more colorful and Heidi Fleiss' buttocks become red and enlarged.
14> Jenny McCarthy switches from fur bikini to string bikini.
13> Your cat rolls surface-to-air missiles into position against mockingbirds.
12> The year's first appearance of the Dallas Cowboys before a grand jury.
11> Minneapolis weather forecast downgraded from "really friggin' cold" to "extremely cold."
10> Rush Limbaugh takes off the wool flag and wraps himself in a cotton one.
9> Seasonally correct Dennis Rodman switches back to white pumps and gloves.
8> A warm, gentle funnel cloud picks up the first Tulsa double-wide of the season and drops it near Wichita.
7> TV's Ellen comes out of the closet and doesn't see her shadow.
6> A young man's fancy turns to compulsion to hump everything in sight.
5> All across America -- single women start shaving their legs again.
4> AOL members who joined in December are finally able to get a connection.
3> If Darryl Strawberry stumbles out of a bar and scratches himself, we got us an early spring training.
2> NRA offers reward for carcass of first robin.
1> Soup of the Day: Groundhog Stew