LowComDom Performances Presents
The Top 15 Signs You Read Too Many Comic Books
15> More than a little disappointed you didn't get invited to Superman's wedding.
14> Keep memorizing words like "SSPPLLAATT", "KAPOW", and "BLAMMMMO" for school spelling bee.
13> Your resume lists your last three jobs as Defender of the Galaxy, Sidekick to Defender of the Galaxy, and Assistant Manager of InterGalactic 7-11.
12> You shout "Curses! Foiled again" when they forget the catsup at the drive-through.
11> You whack your boss over the head with a hammer and are surprised when his head doesn't pop back into shape.
10> Despite repeated attempts to stop speeding cars with your bare hands, neighbors still think you're just a suicidal lunatic.
9> At age 43, you set the regional subscription record for Grit Magazine.
8> Your compulsive self-narrative renders you too transparent for a career in real estate or car repair.
7> You're the only one wearing a cape at step aerobics.
6> "Holy 40-year-old virgin, Batman!"
5> Wife is getting tired of you introducing her as "My trusty sidekick."
4> Most of your sick days are due to "the effects of the earth's yellow sun."
3> Refusing to admit you're drunk, you vow revenge on the evil "Flaccidus" for your inability to "perform."
2> Your secret identity keeps drinking all the beer.
and the Number 1 Sign You Read Too Many Comic Books...
1> Your attempts at becoming "Danger Cloud" are proving hard on the underwear.