LowComDom Performances Presents
The Top 16 Signs Your Cat has a Personality Disorder
16> Couldn't muster up sufficient disdain if all nine lives depended on it! 15> You've repeatedly found him in the closed garage, hunched over the wheel of your running Buick.
14> Sits for hours in fascination while listening to Bob Dole.
13> Teeth and claw marks all over your now-empty bottles of Prozac.
12> No longer licks paws clean, but washes them at the sink again and again and again...
11> Continually scratches on the door to get in... the OVEN door.
10> Doesn't get Garfield, but laughs like hell at Marmaduke.
9> Rides in your car with its head out the window.
8> She's a dues-paid, card-carrying member of the Reform Party.
7> You realize one day that the urine stains on the carpet actually form the letters N-E-E-D T-H-E-R-A-P-Y.
6> Has built a shrine to Andrew Lloyd Webber entirely out of empty "9 Lives" cans.
5> Spends all day in litterbox separating the green chlorophyll granules from the plain white ones.
4> After years of NPR, Tabby is suddenly a Ditto-Puss.
3> Sullen and overweight, your sunglass-wearing cat shoots the TV with a .45 Magnum when it sees cartoon depictions of stupid or lazy felines.
2> Your stereo is missing, and in the corner you find a pawn ticket and 2 kilos of catnip.
and the Number 1 Sign Your Cat has a Personality Disorder...
1> Makes an attempt on "First Cat" Sock's life in a pathetic attempt to impress Jodie Foster.