LowComDom Performances Presents
The Shit List
The Differences in the Religions:
TAOISM: Shit Happens
CONFUCIANISM: Confuscious says,"Shit Happens"
BUDDHISM: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
ZEN: What is the sound of shit happening?
HINDUISM: This shit happened before
BONZAI BOZOISM: Make shit happen.. OH SHIT!!
ISLAM: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah
PROTESTANTISM: Let shit happen to someone else.
CATHOLICISM: If shit happens, you deserve it.
JUDAISM: Why does this shit always happen to us?
ATHEISM: I don't believe this shit.
AGNOSTICISM: What is this shit?
SHINTOISM: Everything except Japan is Shit.
EXISTENTIAL: I shit, therefore I sit.
VEGETARIAN: Don't eat that shit!
DEJA VU: I've been through this shit before.
LAO-TZU: It is utterly pointless to try to explain shit.
GERTRUDE STEIN: A shit is a shit is a shit.
BUSH: A thousand points of shit.
SOVIET UNION: That shit just didn't work.
CASTRO: We have to make this shit work somehow.
EASTERN ORTHODOX: Rome doesn't know shit.
SEVENTH-DAY ADVENTIST: Shit happens everyday but Saturday.
UNITARIAN: Shit is all basically the same.
HOLISTIC: There's more shit here than I figured on.
JEHOVAH'S WITNESS: Want to buy a subscription to our Shit?
CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST: If Shit happens, don't worry. It will go away on its own.
JAINISM: When Shit happens don't step in it.
CALVINISM: If you're not saved, tough Shit.
BORN AGAIN: Shit happens but I am saved.
SCIENTOLOGY: This Shit is expensive.
NEW AGE: Crystal power counteracts Shit.
JESUITISM: If Shit happens and no one hears it, did it really make a sound?
HARE KRISHNA: Shit happens, Rama, Rama.
SATANISM: Shit rules!
STOICISM: So Shit happens, Big deal. I can take it.
HEDONISM: When Shit happens, enjoy it!
RASTAFARIANISM: Let's smoke this Shit.
CLINTONISM: Just don't inhale that Shit.
NATIVE AMERICAN CHURCH: We want our Shit back!
RLDS: Brigham is full of Shit.
MORMONISM: It's evil to say "Shit."
DEMOCRATISM: How can we send a man to the moon and still have all this shit?
REPUBLICANISM: There's nothing like a good shit. Flush the toilet.
FEMINISM: Put the seat back down, you Shit.
SECULAR HUMANISM: Shit evolves.
FUNDAMENTALISM: Born-again shit.
EVANGELISM: Shit happens. (Pass it on.)
EPISCOPALIAN: Fecal matter occurs.
JIM JONESISM: If shit happens, drink Kool-Aid.