LowComDom Performances Presents
NAKED EYE: Guys and Trolls
GUYS AND TROLLS by WILLIAM BURRILL
This ain't kid's work, sleuthing out these Fairy Tales. So OK, a lot of it is routine, like the time I had to evict the old woman who lived in a shoe and had so many children she didn't know what to do. She didn't go easy but I managed to boot her with a right hook. Saved the price of a hollow-point slug.
Had to waste a round on that Troll who lurks under the bridge. Took him out clean. One shot. A Private Fairy Tale Dick doesn't waste ammo.
Routine: Took some old party called Rip Van Winkle to the tank after a serious bender. Took him 100 years to sleep it off. Busted a minor for breaking into the Three Bears' house and stealing their porridge. Also bagged a delirious kid named Jack who claimed he climbed a beanstalk and met a giant. Got him into rehab just in time. Investigated a domestic about some knob trying to climb a tower by grabbing a babe's hair. Turned out there was a wicked witch involved in the scam. Tough broad. Came at me with a broom, so I loaned her three slugs to the head. All in a day's work on the Fairy Beat. Kissed the babe with the hair hard and took a shot of rye. Then off to bust another Domestic, some guy called Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater. Seems he's got his wife entrapped because he "couldn't feed her." Cheap punk. Fed Peter the Pumpkin Eater a knuckle sandwich, in case he was out of food stamps.