LowComDom Performances Presents
NAKED EYE: The big bad sleep
THE BIG BAD SLEEP
by WILLIAM BURRILL
Never Never Land -- Yeah pal, you read the sign right on the frosted glass door of my tacky office. It says: "William Burrill: Fairy Tale Detective."
Wanna make something out of it? So I work the Fairy Tale beat? You think I'm soft? Last guy who called me a "Fairy Dick" is still shittin' out teeth in the parking lot at some joint called Disneyland...
Get the picture? You gotta be hard-boiled to investigate Fairy Tales. Hard-boiled, unlike a sad case I had to ID last week in the morgue. Buddy of mine named Humpty Dumpty. Took a "bad fall." Yeah, right. Couldn't put the poor bastard back together again even with the "help" of all the King's horses and all the King's men. Humpty and I did two tours of Nam before he got shell-shocked. He might have been an egg but he was no chicken and I think he got fried because he found out something the feds didn't want turned over easy. Eggheads know too much for their own good. But I know this much: Humpty didn't fall. He was pushed. He was poached. When a pal like Humpty gets it, you take it personal. But you can't be soft-boiled in this game. When I find the perps I'm gonna scramble their eggs.
Bought myself a shot of rye from the bottle I keep under the couch and tried to think of Humpty when he had the sunny side up. This'll be a hard case to crack. It's a living.