LowComDom Performances Presents
If Computers Had Personalities...
(User-Friendly) C:\> DUR Command not found. Try retyping
(User-Helpful) C:\> DUR I don't understand DUR. Do you mean DIR?
(User-Patronizing) C:\> DUR Now, that's not quite right is it? Let's try again; this time, use the manual that the nice salesperson gave you when you bought me.
(User-Obsequious) C:\> DUR I'm so very, very sorry but I don't understand that. I'm sure it was my fault, but if you would please try again I'll do my best.
(User-Analytical) C:\> DUR What makes you say that? C:\> A TYPING MISTAKE How long have you been making these mistakes? C:\> OH, BANANAS Do you like bananas? C:\> I LOVE THEM Why do you bring up the subject of love?
(User-McDonald's) May I help you please? C:\> DUR I'm sorry but that command is not available at this time. Have a nice day. C:\> DIR Will that be an MS-DOS directory? C:\> YES To read here, or for printout to take away? C:\> HERE Thank you. Have a nice day.
(User-Megalomaniac) C:\> DUR Don't bother me with trivial requests -- I'm busy.
(User-Hostile) C:\> DUR Ha! A mistake! I'm sure you meant to say FORMAT, so that's what I'll do.
(User-Sarcastic) C:\> DUR Well, Look who's made a mistake then. Very unusual, I don't think.
(User-Insulting) C:\> DUR You Idiot C:\> DIR You Idiot
(User-Smug) C:\> DUR No C:\> DOR Nope C:\> HELP No C:\> PLEASE Not unless you give me a 300Mb hard disk to live on. C:\> JERK Abuse will get you nowhere