One day just after Mojo closed escrow on his new house, we were thinking about lounging in his hot tub. Normally, this requires a can of Diet Coke® and a swimsuit for the modest.
But we bought some Ben & Jerry's that day and decided it would be great to try it in the tub. LowComDom Chairman of the Bored Chris Everett mentioned that we'd have to eat it real fast. Soon the engineering staff decided we should make milkshakes to increase the tub time of the ice cream. Of course, the results were wonderful, and we started yet another of our research projects. Below is a letter we sent to Alice reporting our results.
Alice Blachly
Ben & Jerry's
30 Community Drive
South Burlington, VT 05403-6828
March 7, 1997
Dear Alice,
We've been at it again! Recently, our staff discovered that Ben & Jerry's doesn't do well in the hot tub. After an evening of prototyping, we found the proper proportions for making Ben & Jerry's milkshakes, which are great in the tub. I might also add we got very pruney doing this.
Normally this would be the end of it, but then this is Silicon Valley, where we're still looking for real monkey-flavored ice cream. The folks over in Marketing were told to look into this, and they discovered that Ben & Jerry's is, as we say here, "leaving a lot of money on the table." In other words, you could blow the lid of the domestic milkshake market!
We downloaded your list of current flavors and looked into how they could be presented to the milkshake market. I've enclosed a copy of our findings. In general, we think small panels on the pint cups entitled "Suggested Serving Ideas" would be best. However, I wouldn't rule out a deal with Burger King to help blow McDonald's out of the water. Please feel free to use our findings to your financial benefit. (Our lawyer says that's a good enough release for him.)
On a personal note, I think that Double Chocolate Fudge Swirl would have made a dandy shake, but you have stopped producing it, and the last we could find expired in December. However, if you'd like us to test it, you could whip up a batch, pack it in dry ice and mail it off to us. I promise, we'll give it our immediate full attention!
Hoping the Boss Gives you a Bonus for This,
Fred Barling
Ice Cream Eater
P.S. We're all out of free pint coupons. (hint, hint)
Enclosure: Blowing the Lid Off the Milkshare Market
To: Biff Pondwater, President
Fred Barling, Sr. VP, Content & Sprocket Holes
From: Skippy Robinson, Marketing Dood
Gentlemen,
We were rather perplexed by your recent request. We're unaware of any bundle deals with Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream, and are not sure what this has to do with our bottom line. However, we did have an enjoyable time on this project and hope you'll find our findings useful.
Ben & Jerry's currently sells ice cream in major supermarkets in one-pint cartons. The carton is reported to contain two servings. We did not take the serving size seriously. In our tests, everyone who opened a pint ate a pint. For the purposes of making milkshakes, we use proportions appropriate for making one pint of ice cream into one milkshake to be consumed by one person.
Please also note, that some flavors are labeled Kosher. We weren't sure if making a milkshake with Kosher ice cream and non-fat milk would violate the Kosher requirements. In our tests, we used only pasteurized whole milk, with Vitamin D added. You might need to point this out to the client.
We have found three methods for the client to penetrate the milkshake market.
We believe the client would be able to negotiate an agreement with a major fast food franchise that would not only provide a revenue stream, but major cross promotional advertising.
Recipe
Place one carton of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream in blender, add 4 ounces of whole milk. Cover top of blender. Blend on highest setting for two minutes (three for the chunkier ice creams). Pour into a glass. Enjoy while petting your favorite Kitty.
May 20, 1997
Fred Barling, Ice Cream Eater
P.O. Box 431
Santa Clara, CA 95052
Dear Fred:
We are most appreciative of your forwarding to us the proposal from Skippy Robinson Marketing Dood, for, as you so colorfully put it, Blowing the Lid Off the Milkshake Market. We (speaking editorially) tend to be knocked senseless by charts and graphs showing market share and market penetration, but our marketing doods speak the same language and will undoubtedly be able to follow the line of reasoning.
Only in Silicon Valley would they think of eating ice cream in a hot tub. Now in Vermont, we eat ice cream in the winter to warm up. It's a perceptual thing.
Frankly, we think this whole thing was "cooked up" in order to get us to reinstate Double Chocolate Fudge Swirl or at least whip up a batch of it for your "test" kitchen. We use that word advisedly because, in order to have a scientific test, you have to have a "control" group, and it sounds to us like everybody was more or less out of control on the evening in question.
We sincerely appreciate the staff's efforts to have a positive impact on our bottom line. So that they don't have to scrape the bottom of the barrel in doing so, we enclose a small contribution towards their future research.
Sincerity,
Alice Blachly
Enc: cents-off coupons
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