The Secret Recipe

In a large crock pot:

Combine 1 pound of all purpose fear, a pinch of 9/11 and dollop of fake homeland security.

Combine tax cuts for the wealthy, exclusive Halliburton contracts, oil profits and corporate welfare til smooth, then add to the mix.

Coarsely chop off social programs for the poor, strain Social Security through private cheesecloth and then drain and discard unnecessary excess minorities.

In a separate pot, bring bigotry, gay bashing and pro-birth rhetoric to a boil. Stir in right-wing religious zealots and the elimination of the Separation of Church and State. Bring to boil again and then generously pour into the mix.

Stir in secrecy, fraud, corruption and criminal negligence. If desired, mash fixed intelligence with a treason masher and sprinkle with super secret background.

Add Swift Boat smear tactics to taste and garnish with language manipulation (from secret playbook).

Put a lid on it and go on vacation.

Danger: Do not lift cover. It may explode in your face.