How Many Kinds?

A family is sitting down for dinner.

The son asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?"

The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts... in her 20s and 30s, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 40s to 50s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. But after 50, they are like onions."

"Onions?" asked the son.

"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."

This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter asked, "Mom, how many kinds of willies are there?"

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases.... in his 20s and 30s, his willie is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 40s and 50s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. But in his 60s, it is like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?" asked the daughter.

"Yes.... dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration."