The Jewish Mother

Jewish Mother: "Hello?"

Daughter: "Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?"

Jewish Mother: "You're going out?"

Daughter: "Yes."

Jewish Mother: "With whom?"

Daughter: "With a friend."

Jewish Mother: "I don't know why you left your husband. He is such a good man."

Daughter: "I didn't leave him. He left me!"

Jewish Mother: "You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies."

Daughter: "I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids?"

Jewish Mother: "I never left you to go out with anybody except your father."

Daughter: "There are lots of things that you did and I don't."

Jewish Mother: "What are you hinting at?"

Daughter: "Nothing, I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight."

Jewish Mother: "You're going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out?"

Daughter: "My EX husband. I don't think he would be bothered.From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone!"

Jewish Mother: "So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place?"

Daughter: "He's not a loser."

Jewish Mother: "A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite."

Daughter: "I don't want to argue. Should I bring over the kids or not?"

Jewish Mother: "Poor children with such a mother."

Daughter: "Such a what?"

Jewish Mother: "With no stability. No wonder your husband left you."

Daughter: "ENOUGH!!!"

Jewish Mother "Don't scream at me. You probably scream at this loser too!"

Daughter: "Now you're worried about the loser?"

Jewish Mother: "Ah, so you see, he IS a loser. I spotted him immediately."

Daughter: "Goodbye, mother."

Jewish Mother: "Wait! Don't hang up! When are you bringing them over?"

Daughter: "I'm not bringing them over! I'm not going out!"

Jewish Mother: "If you never go out, how do you expect to meet anyone?"