Newfoundland Computer Talk

Log on - Make the wood stove hotter

Log off - Don't add no more wood

Monitor - Keep an eye on that wood stove

Download - Getting the firewood off the truck

Floppy disk - What you get from trying to carry too much firewood

Ram - The thing that splits the firewood

Hard Drive - Getting home in the winter

Prompt - What the mail ain't in the winter

Window - What to shut when it's cold outside

Screen - What to shut in black fly season

Byte - What the black flies do

Bit - What the black flies did

Mega Byte - What the BIG black flies do

Chip - Munchies for TV

Micro Chip - What's left in the bag after you eat the chips

Modem - What you did to the hay fields

Dot matrix - Old Dan Matrix's wife

Lap top - Where the kitty sleeps

Software - The dumb plastic knives and forks they give you at McDonalds

Hardware - The real stainless steel cutlery

Mouse - What eats the grain in the barn

Main frame - What holds the barn up

Enter - City talk for - "come on in, eh"

Web - What a spider makes

Web site - The barn or the attic

Cursor - Someone who swears

Search Engine - What you do when the car dies

Screen Saver - A repair kit for the torn window screen

Home Page - A map you keep in your back pocket just in case you get lost in the field

Upgrade - Steep hill

Server - The person at the ABC what brings the food

Mail Server - The guy at the ABC what brings the food

MSDOS - Some new disease they discovered

Sound Card - One of them technological birthday cards that plays music when you open it

User - The neighbor who keeps borrowing stuff

Browser - What they call you when you eye brows grow together

Network - When you have to repair your fishing net

Internet - Complicated fish net repair method

Netscape - When a fish maneuvers out of reach

Online - When you get the laundry hung out on the washline

Off line - When the clothes pins let go and the laundry falls on the ground

Tell me another Joke!

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