The National Daily World Enquiring Globe

LowComDom Performances Presents
The National Daily World Enquiring Globe


  • You Are Reading...February2007Jokes
    •  Today's Jokes
    •  Archives
    •  RSS Feed
    •  Disclaimer
  • Top of the News |
    •  Front Page
  •  Editorial |
    •  The Crapolla
    •  The Dictionary»
      •  A
      •  B
      •  C
      •  D
      •  E
      •  F
      •  G
      •  H
      •  I
      •  J
      •  K
      •  L
      •  M
      •  N
      •  O
      •  P
      •  Q
      •  R
      •  S
      •  T
      •  U
      •  V
      •  W
      •  X
      •  Y
      •  Z
  •  Arts & Leisure |
    •  Film Reviews»
      •  By Title
      •  By Actor
      •  By Director
      •  By Year
      •  Ratings
    •  Iris In
    •  Mojo Cam
  •  Travel |
    •  Mexico
    •  Las Vegas
    •  Where's Svlad?
  •  Shopping |
    •  T-Shirts
    •  Sweat Shirts
    •  Mugs
    •  Caps
    •  Statement of Irresponsibility
  •  News |
    •  What's New?
    •  Press Releases
  •  Sponsors |
    •  The Ugly Mug
  •  Legal
    •  Privacy Policy
    •  Terms of Use

Nothing But The Truth

CLERK: Please repeat after me: "I swear by Almighty God..."

WITNESS: "I swear by Almighty God."

CLERK: "That the evidence that I give..."

WITNESS: That's right.

CLERK: Repeat it.

WITNESS: "Repeat it".

CLERK: No! Repeat what I said.

WITNESS: What you said when?

CLERK: "That the evidence that I give..."

WITNESS: "That the evidence that I give."

CLERK: "Shall be the truth and..."

WITNESS: It will, and nothing but the truth!

CLERK: Please, just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth and..."

WITNESS: I'm not a scholar, you know.

CLERK: We can appreciate that. Just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth and..."

WITNESS: "Shall be the truth and."

CLERK: Say: "Nothing...".

WITNESS: Okay. (Witness remains silent.)

CLERK: No! Don't say nothing. Say: "Nothing but the truth..."

WITNESS: Yes.

CLERK: Can't you say: "Nothing but the truth..."?

WITNESS: Yes.

CLERK: Well? Do so.

WITNESS: You're confusing me.

CLERK: Just say: "Nothing but the truth...".

WITNESS: Is that all?

CLERK: Yes.

WITNESS: Okay. I understand.

CLERK: Then say it.

WITNESS: What?

CLERK: "Nothing but the truth..."

WITNESS: But I do! That's just it.

CLERK: You must say: "Nothing but the truth..."

WITNESS: I WILL say nothing but the truth!

CLERK: Please, just repeat these four words: "Nothing", "But", "The", "Truth".

WITNESS: What? You mean, like, now?

CLERK: Yes! Now. Please. Just say those four words.

WITNESS: "Nothing. But. The. Truth."

CLERK: Thank you.

WITNESS: I'm just not a scholar.

Tell me another Joke!