The Hand Job

On the third night after the wedding, the two blissful newlyweds shut off the lights and crawl under the covers. Turning amorously towards his bride, he tenderly informs his wife that tonight he wants a hand job instead of the usual stuff.

She, being the proper girl that she is, had absolutely no idea what a "hand job" is.

So, she tells her husband she needs a drink of water, gets out of bed, puts on her robe and heads downstairs to the phone to call her mom.

Mom," she says, "he says he wants a hand job and I don't know what he means."

Oh, Honey," says her mother, "that's real simple. Just grab his thing and shake it like you were trying to get ketchup out of a bottle."

Gee, Mom, that's easy enough," she replies.

So she hangs up the phone, heads back upstairs, removes her robe and crawls back into the sack. She snuggles up to her lover, grabs his thing firmly with one hand and starts beating the end with the other.