Labels of Distinction

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On Sears hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.

Some Swanson frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.

On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.

On Tesco's Tiramisu desert: Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating

On packaging for a Rowenta Iron: Do not iron clothes on body

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery

On Nytol (a sleep aid): Warning: may cause drowsiness

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.

On Sainsbury's Peanuts: Warning: contains nuts

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

On a Swedish chain saw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.