What Women Really Mean

No = No.

Yes = No.

Maybe = No.

I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.

We need = I want.

You want = You want.

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

We need to talk = I need to complain.

Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.

I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you're dead.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're ... so manly = You need a shave...

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're not going to like.