Top Signs Of A Rocky Relationship

8. Her term of affection for you is "You Bastard."

7. She shaves your eyebrows off while you are asleep.

6. She rushes to answer the phone each time it rings, and puts it down with a hushed, "I can't talk now...I'll call you later."

5. Your picture on her wall has darts in it.

4. She reads books like "Women are From Venus, Men Are Complete Assholes."

3. When you call her, she answers your voice with, "Oh. It's only you."

2. She cancels your date because she has to clean out the septic tank.

1. She makes inquiries about going on the Witness Protection Program.