Adkins

"We recently instructed you to cut out all carbohydrates and eat more protein. Also you should know the following: beef causes mad cow disease; fish contains mercury; chicken has nasty steroids; fruit has sugar; animal fats induce painful writhing and death. Any questions?"

"Yes. What can we eat?"

"The healthiest course is to avoid food until further notice,"

"I feel thinner already."

"Next they'll say starvation will kill you."

(Rudy Park: Bell & Heir)