Lock and Load!

"So I take my wife to this nice Chinese place and we're sitting there, wolfing down Moo Goo Gui Pan ... when, suddenly, this nice kid (who's been just sitting there, having a nice meal with his parents) jumps to his feet and pulls out a 9mm.

"With a scream, he starts pumping round after round into his fried rice! Standing there, shooting his dinner.

"With a sigh, his mother says, 'Now, Tommy ... If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times. ... Stop wasting food!'"