Heaven

A Navy Chaplain found himself seated next to a slightly drunken sailor on the bus back to the Naval Station. The sailor slurred, "I'm not going to Heaven, because there ain't no Heaven."

The Chaplain didn't reply.

"I said," repeated the sailor, "I'm NOT going to Heaven 'cause there ain't no Heaven."

"Very well mister." replied the Chaplain. "Go to Hell then, but be quick about it!"