In The News ...

Tee Baller: President Bush will dedicate a T-ball field on the White House lawn on Sunday. The event will take place at 1pm in the afternoon. Or as the W. likes to call it, "overtime." (Ray)

Babs Crusade: On Barbra Streisand continuing her one-woman show against the President: Why doesn't she devote her time to something more constructive, like helping Alec Baldwin follow through on his promise to leave the country if Bush was elected? (Ross Greenawalt)

Quincy Jr.: President Bush says his father has nicknamed him "Quincy." He explains it's because John Quincy Adams was the only President to follow his father into office. Ohhhhh. We thought it was because of the Vice President and "Quincy" the TV coroner. (Burkard)

Bending Over Backward: "On the cover of Time magazine recently, the big cover story is yoga. . . . They're saying all the big stars are doing it now. . . . They say in Hollywood, there are agents so limber, they can actually stab themselves in the back." (Jay Leno)

Weighing In: "It was reported that Al Gore has put on roughly 30 pounds since losing the election, and experts attribute this to depression. In a related story, Michael Dukakis now weighs 12,000 pounds." (Conan O'Brien)

Letting Herself Go: "One of the tabloids is claiming that Hillary Rodham Clinton has some 'mystery illness,' which is causing her to look older, more haggard and totally exhausted all the time. . . . In fact, her looks have deteriorated so drastically in recent months that Bill has started hitting on her." (Ira Lawson)

Tax Break: VP Dick Cheney paid over $16 million in taxes. With his Bush tax refund, he plans to buy Albania. (Williams)

Bush Approved: President Bush's approval ratings hover between the high 50's and low 60's. The W. owes his success to a defined work ethic. He believes in putting in a full half-day's work. (Ray)

More Books: Bette Midler will write "Cancelled," a book about her experience working on her short-lived sitcom, Bette. CBS execs are teaming with viewers to work on their own version of the story, tentatively titled "Unwatchable." (Ross Greenawalt)

Screaming Video: Did you see the home video of the kid trying to jump over the speeding car? Gives new meaning to "boys in the hood!" (Mark Allan ö WDTN)