In The News ...

Deal With It: The Bush administration confirmed Wednesday it will NOT abide by the Kyoto treaty on the environment. Al Gore was so upset by this that he kicked his box full of unsold "global warming" books. (Richard Burkard/ http://www.LaughLine.com)

Not Our Problem: White House officials gave several reasons why they consider the Kyoto treaty dead. For one thing, developing countries are exempt from the environmental rules. What's the problem with that? If everyone on Earth breathes equally polluted air, that's equality.... (Burkard)

Amtrak Derailed: Amtrak derailments are up. The company is trying to put a positive spin on the situation. The gambling car now features off track betting. (Ray)

A 33-year-old Virginia man pleaded guilty yesterday to having sex with his pet beagle and then videotaping it.

So I guess it's true, you really can teach an old dog how to trick.

I believe the name of the video is "Behind the Green Doggy Door."

I know what you're thinking; this is just another one of my "shag-a dog" stories. (Steve Voldseth)

He's Otta Here: The last remaining version of the local TV show, "Bozo the Clown," has been cancelled in Chicago after 40 years. In case you don't remember Bozo, he's the one in the ridiculous clown makeup who had nothing to do with George Bush winning in Florida. (Voldseth)

KANSAS CITY, Mo. - President George W. Bush said on Monday the U.S. economy was slowing and "we better do something about it." Bush made his remarks to reporters during a stop at a Kansas City-area restaurant. Then he left a 5% tip. (Wallace)

Japan Rocks: Japan recovers from a strong earthquake. The danger is not over. Millions are being told to stay away from the coastline for fear of a U.S. Navy submarine. (Alan Ray)

Call For Help: Recently, a contestant on 'Millionaire' lost on a question identifying the purpose of the 311 phone number (national police non-emergency). The man didn't know and he still had his phone a friend. My question: Why didn't he just ask Regis to call 311 for him? (David W. Kralik)