LowComDom Performances Presents
In The News ...
I See You: After five leg operations and two years of rehab, gold medallist Picabo Street won't quit. She's the Al Gore of skiing." (Alex Kaseberg)
Happy B-Day Elian: Elian Gonzalez turned seven years old Wednesday. Cuban television broadcast his birthday party, and Fidel Castro even showed up for it! Yes sir, he's become just another ordinary little boy since he left Miami.... (Burkard)
PBS Survivor: After the success of PBS' "1900 House," producers are planning a sequel next year, in which three families will live on a farm in Montana like settlers in the 1800's did. The show will be called "2001 House." (Steve Voldseth)
Big Buyout: PepsiCo has agreed to buy cereal maker, Quaker Oats. According to the terms of the deal, PepsiCo will pay Quaker Oats 13.4 billion dollars in stock and promote Cap'n Crunch to Admiral. (Voldseth)
Anna Nicole Smith turned 33 on Monday.
--Pretty wild party. It was one of those 'B.Y.O.B.' parties--bring your own billionaire.
--If you haven't gotten Anna Nicole a gift yet, you can't go wrong with Dick Cheney's phone number. (Steve Voldseth)
I Wonder Bra: There is a story circulating that British actress and model Elizabeth Hurley is about to sign a 4.2 million dollar deal with a Scottish lingerie company. If true, this would make her the world's highest-paid lingerie model--not counting, of course, Marv Albert. (Voldseth)
FLORIDA: If you don't like the way we count, then take I-95 and visit one of the other 56 states.
Dumb Criminals: A drug smuggler in Melbourne, Australia was arrested after he checked the "yes" box next to the question, "Are you carrying any illegal substances?" When officials searched him they found large amounts of cocaine. Reached for comment, the man said, "That's the last time I try reverse psychology." (Steve Voldseth)
Oh, Rats!: "Mayor Rudy Giuliani has announced an unprecedented effort to deal with N.Y.'s runaway rat problem. Until now, politicians in New York have opted not to kill rats, out of professional courtesy--you don't kill your own species." (Phil Perrier)
Open Invitation: "The new president of Mexico, Vicente Fox, says he wants more open borders with the U.S. More open borders? What does he want--a moving walkway like Disneyland? Maybe escalators? . . . Could it be any easier to get into [the U.S.]!" (Jay Leno)
According to Entertainment Weekly: Angelina Jolie says she sleeps with knives. I think that poor Angelina is one silicone injection short of a full cup. You see, the director told her if she went home and got some sleep it would sharpen her "wits." (Williams)