LowComDom Performances Presents
1. You have prepared a proposal for the regional director of purchasing for your largest customer. The success of this presentation will mean increasing your sales to his company by 200%. In the middle of your proposal, this customer leans over to look at your report and spits in your coffee. You...
A. Tell him you prefer your coffee black.
B. Ask to have him checked for any communicable diseases.
C. Take a leak in his "Out" basket.
2. You are having lunch with a prospective customer talking about what could be your biggest sale of the year. During the conversation, a blond walks into the restaurant and she is so stunning that you draw your companion's attention to her and give a vivid description of what you would do if you had her alone in your motel. She walks over to the table and introduces herself as your client's daughter. Your next move is to...
A. Ask for her hand in marriage.
B. Pretend you've forgotten how to speak English.
C. Repeat the conversation to the daughter and just hope for the best.
3. You have just returned from a trip to Green Bay, Wisconsin in January. You tell your boss that nobody but whores and football players live there. He mentions that his wife is from Green Bay. You...
A. Ask what position she played.
B. Ask if she's still working the streets.
C. Pretend you're suffering from amnesia and don't even remember your own name.
4. You are at a business lunch when you are suddenly overcome with an uncontrollable desire to pick your nose. Remembering this is definitely a No-No, you...
A. Pretend to wave to someone across the room and with one fluid motion, bury your forefinger in your nostril right up to the 3rd joint.
B. Get everyone drunk and organize a nose picking contest with a prize to the one who makes his nose bleed first.
C. Drop your napkin on the floor and, when you bend over to pick it up, blow your nose on your sock.
5. You are on your way to see you best account when your zipper breaks and you discover that you forgot to put on your underwear that morning. You decide to...
A. Call on the customer's secretary instead.
B. Explain you were just trolling for queers.
C. Buy a baggy raincoat and head for the school playground.
6. You are making a sales presentation to a group of corporate executives in the plushest office you've ever seen. The hot enchilada casserole and egg salad sandwich you had for lunch reacts, creating severe pressure. Your sphincter loses its control and you break wind in the most convincing manner, causing three water tumblers to shatter and a secretary to pass out. What you should do next is...
A. Offer to come back next week when the smell has gone away.
B. Point out their Chief Executive and accuse him of the offense.
C. Challenge anyone in the room to do better.