Reasons Tinky Winky Can't Be Gay

The purse doesn't match the shoes. Purple AND Red, I mean really, clash-o-rama!

He's kind of obese. Everybody knows that gay men (especially public figures) are in remarkable shape.

That headpiece. Where I rate it for its FABULOUS height and tasteful shape, it really doesn't have much in the way of frills. It's just a triangle. A true gay person would have accessorized it with beads, pearls, sequins and/or something frilly.

He hangs out in a meadow ... um ... skip that one. George Michael in the park ruined that analogy for me.

He's a really bad dancer. Nuff said.

The name Tinky Winky. I don't know a gay man on the planet who would go with a name like that ... I mean HELLO ... it screams "I'm small 'down there' and I don't care who knows it!"