A funny thing happened on the way home. We blew up our starship, swiped a Klingon's Bird of Prey, reincarnated my buddy. Man, am I in dutch with my boss.

This is Kirk's dilemma at the beginning of The Voyage Home, but it gets a hell of a lot better. The crew of the late great starship Enterprise decide to go home and face the consequences of their actions. Lucky them, that the shit hits the fan on Earth before they arrive.

It turns out that we stupid humans killed off all the whales in the early 21st Century. The whales had been talking to this big probe in space all these years (without the use of technology, mind you!) and when the whales were silenced, the probe headed for Earth.

My guess is this probe doesn't have warp speed because it took almost 300 years to arrive. That's a nice thing to do for a pen pal. The probe, not in Earth's orbit, is vaporizing the oceans looking for whales.

It's a real god thing Spock got brought back to life or no one would have figured out that if you go back in time and kidnap a whale from the 20th Century, and bring it forward in time, it could tell this probe to get lost.

OK, big leap of faith. If I were the whale, I'd tell the probe to kill off all the nasty humans, but that's just me. Anyway, the time travel thing works. Scotty tries to use a Macintosh, and Chekhov gets caught stealing photons from the nuclear vessels. (Someone should have told him that sunlight is photons.)

This is arguably the best of the Star Trek movies, which unfortunately isn't saying much, but if you have to watch a Trek flick, watch this one.