Film Review - GoldenEye

Brosnan ... Pierce Brosnan

I'm losing count: who reincarnates more, James Bond or Doctor Who? It doesn't matter. Pierce Brosnan was born to be Bond. I, for one, hope he keeps the role for at least 10 years.

GoldenEye is a typical Bond flick. You have high-tech military equipment that looks prettier than any military would ever make their equipment look. Of course, it is stolen by Evil People.

Bond is Bond. He's an Alpha male all the way, making jokes about women's lib and sexual harassment while continuing to practice it. He's a playboy and a womanizer. He's also no pansy. He's deadly and doesn't lose sleep over all the people he kills. Bond, of course, is the only one alive who can find the Evil People and thwart their plans.

Then there's the Bond Women. In GoldenEye we get an Evil Woman who can kill men between her legs. (Wanna talk about bondage?) She isn't really the one James is "doing"; in fact, she's the one he's avoiding doing, since both his life and Willy depend on it.

James is doing the lone survivor of the Evil People's heist of the really pretty military toys. (Note: if you want to be a great secret agent, only screw nice women.)

Action, action, action ... that's a James Bond movie and that's what you get with GoldenEye.

Jammed Pipe!

Film Facts

Directed by Martin Campbell

Released in 1995

MPAA Rating: PG-13

Reviewed by Mongo