So way back in 1998 when Americans tried their hand at a Godzilla movie, the Japanese acted like they were having myocardial infarction. But after seeing Godzilla 2000 or Gojira ni-sen mireniamu as it's known in Japan, I gotta say that the Japanese are the pot calling the kettle black.

This movie sucks with a capital "S". No one seems to have gone to acting school. You have to hope that the Japanese dialog just translated horribly. let's get into the details.

As we open, those peace-loving Japanese are bombing the crap out of Godzilla. Suddenly, a UFO shows up to help. The Japanese decide that no one show horn in on their fun, and start shooting at the UFO. (It's probably a Union thing.) So now the peace-loving Japanese and Godzilla are beating up the UFO. Nothing seems to work.

The UFO decides to turn itself into a clone of Godzilla, and when it does, Godzilla kills it. Now here's the bit I like. At the end, the peace-loving Japanese wonder why they keep trying to kill Godzilla. After all, he keeps coming to the rescue and saving their butts. Right then Godzilla, who was headed out to sea, turns back and torches all of Tokyo. Well that explains it! You keep trying to kill the Lizard because he just torched Grandma's Rabbit Hutch apartment!

By comparison, the US version of Godzilla looks like David Lean made it. Either movie would probably be better with the use of mind-altering drugs.

Sucks and Blows!

Film Facts

Cast
• Takehiro Murata
• Hiroshi Abe
• Naomi Nishida
• Mayu Suzuki
• Takeshi Ubayashi
• Shiro Namiki
• Sakae Kimura
• Bengal
• Kenichi Nagira
• Kenichi Ishii
• Yoshimasa Kondo
• Koichi Ueda
• Yoshiyuki Omori
• Masahiko Nishimura
• Satomi Achiwa
• Denden
• Atsuko Kohata
• Yutaka Matsushige
• Dangerous
• Shiro Sano
• Yoshikazu Ishii
• Daisuke Ishizuka
• Makoto Ito
• Tsutomu Kitagawa
• Toshihiko Sakakibara
• Shelley Sweeney
• Terumi Yoshida

Directed by Takao Okawara

Released in 1999

MPAA Rating: PG

Reviewed by Mongo