The Crapolla According to Fek'Lar

You know you're screwed when...

your recently acquired R2 unit starts spewing a cryptic message from some chick in a white dress with cinnamon buns on her head, wearing gaffer's tape for a bra. This will probably kill your aunt and uncle.

You've stumbled onto another issue of The Crapolla, a journal written for software professionals. No not the managers; I mean the people who do the work.

This Crapolla is sponsored by...

In This Issue...

Yahoo! We're talking guns and TV!

Take A Letter

Harold Peterson
Rocketman
file photo

Harold Peterson writes...

Hey Fek'Lar,

I'm wondering whether the recent move by Yahoo's CEO is either a case of "I only know what Google did so let's be like them" or "This company has one foot in the grave so let's try something drastic". (As a fellow Wisconsin native I want Mayer to succeed.)

-Harold
Huntsville, AL

Hi Harold!

If Mayer has decided to try things that succeeded at Google, I would think more people would applaud that she had taken notice. Emulating what worked is wise, no?

I don't think Yahoo has a foot in the grave. It is the fourth most-visited domain in the world. That ain't chicken feed. It just doesn't have sexy. It is a profitable company.

By now, I'm guessing some people noticed that I said something positive about a manager-unit. Yes, alternate Star Trek universe Fek'Lar is writing this.

Do you know the Rocket City Rednecks? Remember, safety third!

Fek

Pity the NRA Missed This Golden Opportunity

As I write, the nation is debating guns again. One of the major players is the National Rifle Association. One wonders if the NRA is in this debate to discuss the subject seriously, or if they are in it to drive membership.

The NRA, much like the Republican House, is taking a hard line - no compromise stance on anything about guns. Their position appears to be, that we have a right to anything related to guns, even in light of a of large-scale massacres where people who should never have had a gun got one.

When the NRA argues this position, they aren't convincing anyone to their side. It's an argument that reminds me of many of the political arguments of our times where people on either side are just preaching to their respective choirs. No one is listening. I wonder if the NRA had taken a different approach, if this conversation might be very different.

Imagine, if you will, the nation's predominate educator of weapon safety had produced a TV ad which was aimed at members and the public alike, which said owning a weapon comes with responsibilities. Amongst those responsibilities are being educated in gun safety and storing weapons securely. You see, the nut-job who decided to gun down 20 first graders and six adults in a school would have never passed the background check his mother did. Those weapons were hers. She was educated in gun safety, and passed the state's rigorous background checks, but her son, who was known to have mental problems had access. In fact, she bought guns for him. It was her responsibility to lock up those weapons in a manner that he did not have access to them.

Had the NRA pointed this out to their members and the public alike, and then followed up with a mailing to their members advocating gun safes and trigger locks, those of us who believe some sort of change is needed would probably welcome the NRA's participation in this conversation. Instead, we see the organization as being an obstructionist. Goose-stepping to a dogma that may have made perfect sense a couple centuries ago, but may not fit into a modern society where we all live much closer, and need to be more forgiving of other's trespasses.

An NRA that defends the second amendment as well as pushing gun owners to be more responsible in their methods of storing weapons, could have short-circuited this debate. After all, who would argue against trigger locks? Oh... that would be the NRA.

And The Promo Fails...

As we came out of the holidays, which is a drought for any new television episodes, we saw promos for shows that would be starting in a month or two. Here's what's really stupid about TV promos. I'm not going to remember to program my Tivo, or my Dish PVR in a month or two. Whenever there is a promo, even if the show is recorded, as is how I watch most stuff, I should be able to push a button to get the program being promoted. Zap! There, done.

Instead, we're still acting like it's 1980 and I still have an short term memory. I'm not even going to remember the name of the show in five minutes or even what channel it's going to be on. So chances are, I'm not going to see it.

Guys, can we get on this?

Really CBS? You've Never Heard of the PVR?

I'm writing the day after the Super Bowl. Since I'm being forced to buy the 49er's a stadium, I'm a bit disappointed in their performance. But this is not of what I speak. I'm disappointed in the CBS television network. These guys have been around for a while, and yet they don't seem to be aware of some new technology many of us have in our living rooms.

Of course, I refer to the PVR. The one I use for over the air recording is a Tivo. I watch almost everything time-shifted. No need to be a slave to your TV. One of the shows I've been recording is Elementary. I've not seen any of the episodes yet, but I'm assured it's a good show. When there's nothing on, I'm going to whip this out and shotgun it some weekend.

CBS decided they would play an episode of Elementary after the big game. On the surface this is a great idea. You have a big audience, give them a show you want to build an audience for by piggy-backing it into the end of the big game.

Well, the game went long. The network had the good sense not to start playing Elementary on time, as was once done with the movie Heidi a long time ago. But there was no consideration for Elementary's already established audience who watches in a time-shifted mode. (This is a very large audience.)

As in the piece I wrote about the need to get rid of dumb promos, broadcasters need a method of telling a PVR that the plan has changed, so the machine can react and record the show. Otherwise, it's 15 yards for roughing the audience. The penalty is low ratings.

This Issue's Headline submission to the National Daily World Enquiring Globe.

Lindsey Lohan

Make Something Up, It's Probably True

Let's play, "Who said this?"

Heard in the halls of various software companies.

"Panda Express? How fast do you need your bowels cleaned?"

"My Aunt's kind of a hoarder. You should see all the shit in her house. If you dug through it, you might find my Uncle."

"Rich was an honorary invertebrate."

"I thought that was a lesser value of don't"

"This is the most boring snuff film I've ever watched."

Excuse Me

I need to pack the winter wardrobe.

Fek'Lar
They pay me to think. These are my thoughts. Do you think they are getting their money's worth?

Remember: The Crapolla contains my personal opinions. That's right they're mine, so get your own! And you kids get off my lawn!

Although written with the software professional in mind, my mind tends to wander all over the place, and I sometimes write about politics, mass stoopidity, dumb things I saw, and whatever else comes to mind.

From time to time, I use salty language, thus The Crapolla is not intended for children, or certain people from the Christian Right.

feed available from http://www.lowcomdom.com/crapolla/index.xml

EOJ

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