Sucks and Blows!
From Da Joke Archives
Stock Market Report
Helium was up, feathers were down.
Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.
Cows steered into a bull market.
Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
Diapers remained unchanged.
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
The market for raisins dried up.
Coca Cola fizzled.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated.
Scott Tissue touched a new bottom.
And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.
Word of the Day
- A man who in his waning years of life gives away in public the fortune he stole in private.
From the The LowComDom Online Dictionary
In his column, "Now That Netscape is Dead ..." Fek'Lar thus spake... "Netscape is dead. Sucked into the AOL modem pool, possibly never to be seen again. What's that you say? You just drove down East Middlefield Road and saw the Netscape sign? So what? I drove past a T-Zone yesterday. The sign is there, but they ain't." more...
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